A Mother's Heart

My mom's birthday is this weekend. I won't list her age here, for fear of retaliation. My mom is not the one in the limelight. She normally stands in the background allowing others around her to shine. I didn't appreciate this about her until I was an adult. I realize that it takes a special person to nurture and love and allow others to reap the adoration and accolades. Thank you mom for doing this for me.

I was reminded tonight how difficult it is to be a mother and have to carry the burden that is a mother's heart. Ethan had his final football game. His team made it to the Superbowl. Ethan started the season rough. He was one of the smallest kids and a little tentative at times. Half way through the season, he was as tough as they come. He could block kids twice his size and always stayed in his position. He didn't take the bait and leave his side of the field unmanned. He is a smart player. He was so excited about the Superbowl.

When the game started, Ethan was playing. He played the entire first quarter and his team scored two touchdowns and the other team did not score at all. After the first quarter, Ethan was pulled from the game and sat on the sidelines. Ethan is used to having to sit out a quarter because the rules say that everyone has to play one quarter. The problem was that the coach never put Ethan back in the game. The other team ended up scoring three touchdowns. (Two of them were on Ethan's side of the field where he normally blocks.) Chris and I were both very upset. Chris spoke with one of the assistant coach's after the game and he spoke about all the kids having to play a quarter. I was upset but held it together until I went to get Ethan after the game. When I walked up with my camera to take his picture with the runner up trophy, my heart broke. Ethan's eyes were red from crying the entire second half because he was forced to stand on the sidelines. He came up and gave me a hug and whispered, "I only got to play eight minutes tonight." That's when my tears started right there on the field in front of everyone. I was so angry and resisted the urge to talk to the coach and felt some justice that Ethan's team had lost without him. (I know this is petty.)

That's when I knew I have a mother's heart. I would have paid any amount of money, sat out of the game myself, or yelled at the coach to protect my son tonight. I know Ethan learned a valuable lesson tonight, but it hurt my heart. It made me wonder how many times has my mother had to bite her tongue and sit back and watch me get hurt. Thank you mom for sticking up for me just enough to let me know you care but not so much that I didn't learn the truth about life. I may not have gotten the role for Annie in third grade, but I definitely remember you waiting in line with me. I may not have earned the role in the commercial, but thank you for taking me to the auditions. I may not have been crowned Jr. Miss, but thank you for insisting that I was robbed and supporting me. The injustice and failures growing up are so many, but the support and love through it all made it bearable for me even though I know if often broke your heart. It is difficult being a mother. Sometimes the love I feel for my boys makes me ache. Thank you, Mom. It's a tough role and you continue to fill it well. I love you!